I'm able to work out a lot of my emotions in my head while I walk. Today, my dog and I walked three miles, mostly around the track near my house. My heart was/is heavy. I had just recently learned of the suicide of one of my oldest child's grade school friends, a bright, cheerful kid back in the day. The young man has a brother two years younger than he who was in the same class as another dear friend's son, and a much younger sister, who was my daughter's classmate. So, the mom and I spent a lot of waiting time in the school foyer together, sharing our hopes and fears for our kids, laughing over their goofiness, and cheering each other through the kids' successes.
That private school class of 27 kids (21 boys as I recall) was an extremely academic one. At one point when they were all still in high school, I noted that 21 of them had received some sort of special honor - National Merit Scholarship, Missouri Scholar, Scholar Athlete, etc. That's an amazing percentage!
Now, the amazing percentage is a sad one. Three of those young men are dead. Such a tragedy. And, who knows why a bright, attractive kid with a loving family kills himself? I don't think even the kids' know themselves. They just can't see the light ahead.
But, back to my walking. I often compose articles to be posted here while I'm walking. I'm able to come back home and type away, putting down most of my ideas for you to read. Today, I spent my three miles composing a letter to this boy's parents. There are truly no words to console parents who have suffered such a loss. But, we all feel the need to offer some, don't we?
Usually, the things I'm able to ruminate on and work thru my brain cells are happier. Sometimes I walk with God and express my gratitude for the beautiful scenery and my very fortunate life. Sometimes I walk with the sure confidence that all is well with the world despite what the newspaper says. Sometimes, like today, I walk with tears in my eyes and a heaviness in my chest that will ease over time. I know that. For me, there is hope of a brighter day. For Jimmy's parents and siblings, I'm not so sure. I hope they will walk with his memory in their minds and his love in their hearts. I know I will never forget him.
***************************Remember my 100% GUARANTEE. Should you decide to stop walking and resume your old habits, I personally guarantee that you'll get back 100% of your former life - your pain, your lifestyle, your attitude.
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